Camel Burns.

Ryan's pissed off at me again. What else is new? My NNNN buttonn is stickinn', I think I gotta hemmy and NiNi tried to set her kooch on fire. That last part didn't actually happen today. Two weeks ago to be exact, we were down in Ms workinn' in the garden. My girls V & Ni have to stop every 4 mins to take a death toke. To keep my yard from lookinn' like a pre-wrapped tobacco patch, Ni stuck her stub in the pocket of her fashionably sexy Winnie The Poo pants...dang near fryin' off her beaver whiskers. I told her if one wanted to get out of work there are easier ways than setting fire to ones self, but hey..some take the high road. I personally would not have risked a fire in my dry forest. She probably even chapped her lady lips. On a lighter note, pun intended, we're moving home soon. I'm happier than the sit-n-b-fit woman in a spandex store gettinn' her leg warmers autographed by Richard Simmons.
Also, my knee doesn't hurt as bad today. And, just in case I read this in 47 years and can't remember what happened to said knee:


"I jumped on a sorry excuse for what Big Lots calls a couch while attempting a mixture of rhythmic gymnastics and cross country, banged my knee on a friggin' 2x4 -possibly bruising the bone & bustinn' a blood vessle.- Amputation? Possibly."


Note to Self: Gather more wind resistance.

Another Note to Self: Richard Simmons jokes have depreciated in hilarity.

Dear Paw,

Keeping a blog is cheesy. Knowing that it's cheesy and doing it anyway is just down right pathetic.
It's one step away from talking to your self..and knowing people might possibly witness you talking to yourself...and doing it anyway. But I like doing things anyway. It's how I do.
That being said, it's father's day. And WHERE is my father? Mississippi. WHERE am I? Kentucky. It sucks living back 'n forth between two states. My dad's probably spendin' time with my wank ass brother & his doo-doo turd face family. I don't really feel that way about them...I'm just kinda bitter that I'm spending another holiday alone. So I'm selfish. I'm also extremely attractive...unless I'm under florescent lighting. In which case I look like the love child of Bea Arthur and Hoss from Bonanza.