Seedy Doodie

Yesterday I was assigned the task of decorating some ho's yard for Halloween, mainly because my mother doesn't know when to close her immeasurably large mouth.
Decorating I've done.
Pumpkin carving, however, was new to me.
As children my brother and I were handed paint brushes and told to "paint the damn pumpkins or do without". Now I know why.
Pumpkins smell like dirty butthole.
As soon as I plunged my knife in that sucker I thought the dog farted and exiled him from the porch.
Let's not forget to mention the fact that you have to hollow the pumpkins out.
That is one disgusting task my friend.
It was like scooping seedy doodie out of a giants patootie and I will never do it again.
My children will be deprived.
After my joyous half-day of decorating, I spent the last few hours of day light tearing wooden cross ties out of the ground and loading them in the back of the truck. To hear me write about this, you would probably presume that I'm a woman of considerable size.
I weigh 92 lbs. I look like two party balloons tied to a mail box.
If you ever have a chance to load cross ties with my mother, you should try it.
She'll always give you the heavy end, sucker shod you in the forehead with a piece of rebar and nearly take out your sternum.
... "a reasonable girl doesn't need it anyway".