Friday, September 07, 2007

Day Old Easter Pee

Suddenly I'm some kind of famous photographer around here, I'm not quite sure who I am dating and I've had the spontaneous shits for 3 days straight. Oh and let's not forget the shocking experience of finding out, through extensive research, this new antibiotic I'm shoving down my throat makes my pee smell like eggs. I know I'm gross. I talk about gross things. The things I talk about should never be spoken out of a ladies mouth, blah blah blah. If I go to take a piss and am hit in the face by the scent of sulphur, by god I'm going to talk about it. Especially since I thought my arse had suddenly taken on a new smell and I scrubbed myself 6 times for a consecutive 30 minutes each -thinking the whole time- oh hell I've made fun of so many people for their unfortunate b.o. situations that it has finally coming back to haunt me. I'm going to be upset if I'm taking straight sulphur...simply because that crap is high. I have a bag of sulphur pelets outside in my garage that we spriggle in the flower beds to keep snakes away. I could have just taken a few of those. Either way I'm repelling things.
Now let's talk about the fact that I've been extremely popular lately in the photog department.
Keep in mind when I say extremely popular, I mean two people have asked me to take on projects in one week. Hey, that's pretty popular...especially since photography is a hobby to me. Perhaps I should rethinks me life goals. Anyway, I've been comissioned by a local snooty lady to take some pictures of the town & blow them up to a ginormous size, frame them and hang them on the walls of her restaurant. Then my friend, that I haven't talked to since the last time we got drunk and peed in a corn field together (or 4 yrs to those of u who weren't there), asked me to take some snaps at her wedding reception. Apparently the douche she paid 4800 bucks to doesn't lower himself to "snapshots". Whatev..she can consider it my wedding present.
The fact that people only contact me now days when they NEED something is getting rather annoying. The fact that my pee smells like the day after easter is annoying. And I'm sure if you're reading this, the fact that you can't get those few minutes of your life back...is annoying.

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