Tonight moms & me & V & Ni got the bright idea to go over to Uma's and dig up some flowers.
Y'all this woman has flowers comin' out her butthole and she's always let you, as long as she likes you, come over and dig up what you want. Well, the mo-skeets was about to tote me off, Nini's sugar was low so she was over there stumblin' around looking like she was doin' interpretive dance & V got attacked by a dog. She calls all dogs "Camoodlie" and if you called me camoodlie I'd probably attack you too. She wasn't viciously attacked, the dog just got mud on her orange pants and she thought she was dyin'. Uma's son Buddy told me that I ought to get paid more...that way I wouldn't have to wear wind chimes as earrings. He -so obviously- does not know that I will kick his anus over my earrings. If I want to wear big earrings it is none of his business. That's where 87% of my confidence comes from. The other 13% is the fact that I have a total straight crush on myself.
Also, earlier today, I decided while I was in the pool that I was going to do some old school tricks (not that kind you get paid for). I took my hot pink $1.50 float and put it just close enough to the edge so that when I got a running start from the deck railing it would be there to catch my happy lil' optimistic ass. Wrong. I overshot the floatie by about 2ft. ended up stubbin' my toe and losing my top in 4ft. , hit my head on the step rail in 3ft. and got a dead bug in my mouth.
I guess there's some things you shouldn't do when you're 23.
-Or ever
Y'all this woman has flowers comin' out her butthole and she's always let you, as long as she likes you, come over and dig up what you want. Well, the mo-skeets was about to tote me off, Nini's sugar was low so she was over there stumblin' around looking like she was doin' interpretive dance & V got attacked by a dog. She calls all dogs "Camoodlie" and if you called me camoodlie I'd probably attack you too. She wasn't viciously attacked, the dog just got mud on her orange pants and she thought she was dyin'. Uma's son Buddy told me that I ought to get paid more...that way I wouldn't have to wear wind chimes as earrings. He -so obviously- does not know that I will kick his anus over my earrings. If I want to wear big earrings it is none of his business. That's where 87% of my confidence comes from. The other 13% is the fact that I have a total straight crush on myself.
Also, earlier today, I decided while I was in the pool that I was going to do some old school tricks (not that kind you get paid for). I took my hot pink $1.50 float and put it just close enough to the edge so that when I got a running start from the deck railing it would be there to catch my happy lil' optimistic ass. Wrong. I overshot the floatie by about 2ft. ended up stubbin' my toe and losing my top in 4ft. , hit my head on the step rail in 3ft. and got a dead bug in my mouth.
I guess there's some things you shouldn't do when you're 23.
-Or ever
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